A Conscious Blog

5 Feb 2018

I'm not into Black girls but I must say you look cute... |#LAM

I'm not into Black girls but I must say you look cute πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘‹

Recently, I got approached by an Indian guy online and this was the chat up line he used, quote on quote. I would love to say that this was a lone incident, but unfortunately it's not an isolated experience for me or many of my Black sisters. At different times in my life I've had people from various races use other variations of the compliment insult on me (read below).

"You look cute for a Black girl!"
"I can't believe your Ghanaian. I've never met a pretty Ghanaian before."
"You're pretty for a Black girl!"

So this post is a PSA to all those who think these kind of chat up lines are flattering or complimentary. Imagine I had the audacity to say something like: "I don't like (insert ethnic group here) guys but you're cute for an (insert ethnic group) guy!" I would never dream of saying such a thing.

Far from flattering, such statements are actually incredibly rude and offensive. Whilst I can understand that some people have racial preferences for partners or love interests, equating someone's beauty to their race or ethnicity, keeps the notion that beauty is synonymous with females from a particular race or ethnic group. One usually with fairer skin, exotic features or a palatable Blackness.

Whilst people stay hating Black features whilst on the Black body, but then non-Black people buy lip fillers, have buttock enlargement procedures and tanning, one can't help but wonder why Black features are cool, hot and celebrated but being Black isn't. (Side note: I don't think doing those things individually is problematic, but the combined effort of doing 2 or more is certainly questionable, particularly when you start to look racially ambiguous).

So before you make the mistake of giving a Black girl another backhanded compliment, remember we are not cute for a (insert nonsensical quote here), we are pretty and beautiful just as we are. If that's too hard to comprehend, please keep it moving so we can spread our melanin magic elsewhere.

As always until next time, stay blessed and beautiful dolls. LAM xoxo
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